In this guide
- Why one word covers four different things
- Kind one: a plain reading of an old book
- Kind two: a host whose story gets duller as it goes
- Kind three: fiction written to be dull
- Kind four: a story written to order
- How to choose tonight
- Who should pick something else
- Questions people ask
- A story that begins with your day
Boring comes in four kinds, and each one fails differently: a plain reading of an old book, a host who rambles on purpose, fiction written to be dull, and a story written to order. Pick by what keeps your attention up tonight, not by the word "boring". Here is what each kind is good at and where it breaks.
Why one word covers four different things
Search for boring bedtime stories adults can listen to and you may find one pile of titles under one label. That label hides the useful question: who made this dull, and how?
The answer changes what you can expect. A dull book is dull because someone picked a dull book. A rambling host is dull by design. A written-to-be-dull story is dull because someone worked at it. A story written to order is dull because of the instructions it was given.
Our view: sort by that source, and you will know which failure to expect before you press play.
Kind one: a plain reading of an old book
This kind is a person reading a public-domain book aloud, with no adaptation. The dullness belongs to the book. Boring Books for Bedtime is a podcast in this family, and its about page is the place to check what it reads and who reads it. So is Bore You To Sleep: its home page says its host reads "old books from the public domain".
Its strength is predictability. An old book does not change under you.
Its failure is that an old book is dull only if its subject is. In our view, a dry treatise on drainage stays dull. A Victorian adventure does not, because its plot gives you a reason to keep listening. If you have already tried an audiobook and found yourself waiting for the next chapter, this kind fails you the same way when you pick the wrong title.
Kind two: a host whose story gets duller as it goes
Here the dullness is the show's design. Sleep With Me describes it on its episode 310 page: the story gets "a little bit more boring with each passing minute". That is the show's own description, and we report it as theirs.
The same page lists the questions the episode covers. One of them is "How do you go about writing something so dull?". We are not saying what the episode answers; the page lists the questions, not the answers.
This kind suits a listener who wants company in the room, a voice that keeps going while you stop paying attention. Its failure is the host. A voice you find irritating is a problem no script fixes, and a long ramble that drifts toward a joke can pull your attention back.
Kind three: fiction written to be dull
This is a story with nothing at stake. No one wants anything badly, nothing is revealed late, and the ending is not a payoff. Check any show's own page for whether its stories are new or read from an old book, and for who writes and reads them.
We think this kind is the hardest to make. Writing nothing is harder than it sounds, because stories drift toward interest by habit: a small mystery, a pleasing turn, a line that makes you smile. Each of those is a hook. The failure follows from the craft. A story that is only mostly dull still leaves you with a thread to pull.
Kind four: a story written to order
Here you give instructions and a writer produces the story. The dullness comes from what you asked for, so it is only as dull as the request.
Ho-Hum is an example. It is coming to iPhone: you write a line or two about the dull parts of your day, and an AI writer writes a boring bedtime story that begins with them. An AI voice reads it aloud. Your day goes to an AI writer and a voice service, to be written and read aloud. Ho-Hum's own terms add that stories are generated and can be wrong or odd.
This kind suits someone whose day is still running in their head and who wants the story to start there. It fails in three ways. It is AI-written and AI-read, so it will not suit anyone who wants a person's voice. It can be wrong or odd. And a dull request can still produce an interesting story.
How to choose tonight
An illustrative case: you listened to a novel last night and stayed up for the ending. Tonight, skip any story with a plot. Take a plain reading of a dry book, or a host built to ramble.
| Kind | What makes it dull | Who it suits | How it fails |
|---|---|---|---|
| Plain reading of an old book | The subject of the book | Someone who wants a plain voice and a predictable text | A book with a plot keeps you listening |
| Host who rambles by design | The host's pacing and drift | Someone who wants company in the room | A host you find irritating; a ramble that turns funny |
| Fiction written to be dull | Craft: nothing at stake | Someone who wants a story rather than a book | A single hook leaves a thread to pull |
| Story written to order | Your instructions | Someone who wants it to begin with their own day | AI-written and AI-read; can be wrong or odd |
Who should pick something else
If you want a person's voice, or no AI, take kind one or kind two, and confirm on each show's own page who the host is. Take a kind-three story only where its page says a person wrote and read it. Skip kind four.
Nothing here is medical advice. If your sleep has been poor for months, talk to a doctor. None of these kinds is a treatment, and this post claims no result from any of them.
Questions people ask
What are boring bedtime stories for adults?
They are stories made to ask little of the listener: no plot to follow and nothing at stake. This post sorts them into four kinds by where the dullness comes from: an old book, a rambling host, fiction written to be dull, or a story written to order.
Why does an audiobook keep me awake when a boring story might not?
A plot gives you a reason to wait for the next line. A story with nothing at stake gives you no such reason. That is a point about how stories are built, and this post does not claim any story will make you sleep.
Should I pick a human-read story or an AI-read one?
Pick by what you want in the room. If you want a person's voice, choose a podcast host or a story whose page says a person wrote and read it. If you are fine with an AI writer and an AI voice, kind four is open to you.
When should I talk to a doctor instead of trying a story?
If your sleep has been poor for months, talk to a doctor. Nothing in this post is medical advice, and a boring story is not a treatment for a sleep problem.
A story that begins with your day
If you want to try kind four, Ho-Hum is coming to iPhone. You write a line or two about the dull parts of your day, and it writes a deliberately boring story from those lines and reads it aloud in an AI voice. Your first story is free.